I wanna talk about Ben for a second.
I think nearly everyone in the spn fandom agrees that Ben is Dean’s biological son. The only stumbling block to this is the fact that Lisa…explicitly told Dean Ben is not his son.
And here’s why I think that’s a complete lie.
The first time Dean asks if Ben is his (right after he does the math and realizes Ben could be his son) is approximately five minutes after walking back into Lisa Braeden’s life. Dean had been gone for 8+ years—heck he was just a fling to start, and suddenly he shows up again. Lisa and Ben have their life figured out. They live perfectly well with the family dynamic they have. Lisa doesn’t know Dean. Lisa has no connection to Dean. Imagine if she did tell Dean Ben was his son: child support, visiting arguments, heck maybe even custody battles. Who knows what kind of man Dean is? What sane person would risk uprooting her entire life (along with her son’s) by dropping a bombshell like that on a man she hadn’t seen in almost 9 years?
Second—Lisa tells Dean that Ben is the son of some biker fling she had. She says this with certainty. But honestly, why would she know this? It didn’t sound like this biker guy was involved in her life. Maybe Lisa tracked him down again at some bar a month later and said, “Hey pal, wanna take a ride to the doctor’s office for a paternity test?” This wasn’t a boyfriend, wasn’t a relationship. I have trouble believing she even knew the guy well enough to find him again after the month or so it takes to realize you’re pregnant.
To me, the biker story sounds like a very easy escape from Dean. I mean he’s still this random guy who showed up again in her life, and even though they bond, even though he saves Ben, Lisa now realizes Dean Winchester leads a very, very dangerous life. Dean’s a nomadic, mentally damaged, monster-killer. At this point, it would make even less sense to tether him with the fact that he has a son (even though Lisa obviously cares for him at this point).
Dean vanishes after that. The next time she sees him is when he shows up at her door half-crazed talking about how he’ll bargain for her safety when he sacrifices himself. This is a man who lives in a world of monsters, but Lisa cares enough to try to at least help him. However much Dean eventually tells her about his life, Lisa’s got to know he’s always hiding more. She’s got to know there are insanely powerful things out there that want Dean dead, things Dean has to bargain with his own life to protect her from.
The next time he appears, it’s immediately after Sam dies. Dean is a wreck, but he’s also (possibly) out of the hunter life. So Lisa lets him in, he becomes a father, a husband, but never legally. I doubt Lisa and Dean ever talked once about marriage. Why? Because in the back of her head Lisa knew she needed to constantly be ready to let Dean go if and when his past caught up to him. How do you make that possible? One—you never marry the guy. Two—you never honestly tell him the kid he’s caring for is his son. If Dean knew Ben was biologically his, imagine how much harder it would be for him to pack his bags and vanish when he needed to.
Lo and behold, Sam returns. Dean’s flesh and blood family. And what does Dean do? He takes off with Sam—because it’s dangerous for Ben and Lisa, because his own demons have caught up to them. It’s hard, but Dean manages to leave them. In truth what was he all along but a surrogate dad? Never really a part of the family.
Imagine the kind of shit Dean confided in Lisa after a year together. In the episode where Dean was cursed and people were forced to tell him the truth, Lisa admits she knew from the second Sam returned that it was over between them. Because she knows how messed up Dean is about family. She talks about being close to her sister, but how she’d never, out of desperation, raise her sister from the dead. Being family-family with Dean is a very dangerous game—a messed up game that ends in blood and tears and deals with the devil, and Lisa’s got to be afraid of that.
All of this evidence is ignoring the fact that 1—Ben looks A LOT like Dean. 2—Ben acts like Dean. 3—Ben even likes Dean’s music.
Finally, imagine how hard it would be (especially as time goes on) for Lisa to pull Dean aside one day and tell him “Hey I lied to you. Ben’s actually your son.” She knows Dean would be hurt that she lied, that she has kept very important information from him, that she was clearly trying to distance herself and Ben from him. For the right reasons or not, it would be hard to work up the nerve at any point to tell Dean the truth.
In summary—Lisa had no reason to tell the man, who just walked back into her life, who she knows nothing about, that he’s the father of her child. She has no reason to upset her and Ben’s family dynamic. She then had even less reason after she learned Dean hunts monsters for a living. How would she know with certainty the biker was the father? How easy is it to track down a one-time fling a month later and make him take a paternity test if child support was never an issue? Even after Dean came to live with them, Lisa could not tether Dean to them. No marriage and no biological kid mean the best situation for Dean to be able to take off when he needs to. Being family with Dean Winchester is a terrible risk to take. And if you’re actually flesh and blood, you’ll never get away entirely.
#I also have a personal headcanon that at some point in that year #Dean took Ben to get a physical #probably for school sports #and he asked the nurse for a paternity test as well #but when it arrived Dean didnt have the nerve to open it #he kept it in the glove compartment of the impala #ignoring it for more than a year #until the day he made Cas wipe Lisa and Ben’s memories #he went out to the car right after that #tore open the letter #and cried alone in the driver seat of the impala until Sam came to get him (via phantomrose96)